If I Was Never Like You
by IamAwriterYAY
Summary: Alternate ending to Never Be Like You. Santana gets sent to conversion camp. And she comes back a completely different person. Brainwashed head to toe. Will the glee club be able to help her? What happened to her? Where did those scars on her back come from? INCLUDES THE CHAPTER FROM NEVER BE LIKE YOU...I BARLEY CHANGED IT SO START WITH CHAPTER 2. THE FIRST CHAPTER SUCKS LMAO.
1. Chapter 1

_What I would do to take away this fear of being loved...allegiance to the pain. Now I'm fucked up and miss you._

You know it's dumb to be different. It's dumb to be special. It's dumb to think people can ever change. It's really dumb to think people will ever love you for being different. How could they? It is your fault after all. They just wanted a perfect little girl. Then she turned out to be gay and got shunned from everyone.

_I'll never be like you..._

Said they could fix her, but she'd rather kill herself than be fixed. They made her feel like she was messed up, like she was broken. When the only thing messed up was their beliefs.

_I would give anything to change this fickle-minded heart, that loves fake shiny things. Now I fucked up and I miss you._

They thought isolating her from her friends and forcing her to go to church would cure her. Instead it tore her apart.

_I'll never be like you..._

Day after day after day she'd reach further into the darkness. Glee, was her sanctuary until she was outed. So she quit glee club. Then found out the Cheerios were talking about her and no she didn't stand up for herself. No she quit the cheer team. She was in an endless battle with her friends, family, church, and within herself. There was only so much a girl could take.

_I'm only human, can't you see? I made, I made a mistake. Please just look me in my face. Tell me everything's okay. 'Cause I got it, ooh never be like you._

_**I'm only human, can't you see?**__ I made, I made a mistake __**Please just look me in my face.**__**Tell me everything's okay. 'Cause I got it, ooh, never be like you...**_

One day she went to the bathroom in her room and took out a pack of razor blades from her medicine cabinet. She turned on the cold water of the bath tub and plugged the drain. She got in and hissed from the cold of the water. Next she did something that she couldn't take back and honestly she wouldn't. She almost died that night, but her father who was luckily a surgeon found her.

Santana then realized she never wanted to die. She just wanted to breathe again. So her parents made a decision... it was supposed to be for the best. Only it wasn't...no it wasn't.

And her story begins.


	2. Chapter 2

"Please don't make me go! Please...Mama I'll do better. I'll be better!" Santana sobbed into her mother's chest.

"I'm sorry, mija, your father and I think this is for the better. You will come back for school after camp this summer. When you do if your behavior changes you won't go back next summer." Santana's mother, Maribel Lopez, rubbed her daughters back as she shot down all Santana's attempts at getting out of camp.

"Can I at least say goodbye to my friends?" Santana sniffed looking up at her mother with hope in her eyes.

Maribel sighed, "Fine tell your friends to meet you at the Lima Bean and that it's urgent. I'll be there too so don't get any ideas."

"Okay...thank you, Mami." Santana sniffed and called Mercedes.

_"Hey, hot mama." Mercedes answer her phone._

_"Hey, 'Cedes." Santana tried her best to sound okay._

_"What's wrong, Santana?" Mercedes asked seeing through Santana's facade quickly._

_"I'm okay...I'm okay. Um can you gather the group to meet up at Lima Bean in an hour? It's really important." _

_"Of course, but what's up with you?" _

_"I'll tell you everything in an hour. Thanks, Mercedes, really for everything. Bye." Santana hangs up before Mercedes can get another word out._

"I'm going to do some work, Santana. Go get ready and finish packing." The older Latina tells her daughter as she walks away.

"Yes Mami." Santana whispers with her head hung low, she walks up the stairs towards her room.

* * *

An Hour Later At The Lima Bean:

* * *

"Hey, Mercedes, why are we all gathered here today?" Kurt asks and all eyes turn to Mercedes.

"I-I don't know..." Mercedes stutters still worried about her friend.

"How do you not know? You told us to come because it was important?" Finn said confusion or constipation written all over his face.

"I- um actually Santana asked me to gather you all her." Mercedes formed a tight lipped smile.

"Why, she never wants to hang out with us. Not really." Rachel asks as the rest of the group shrugs.

"She sounded kind of...sad on the phone earlier." Mercedes lets her 'smile' fall.

"Santana sad? Impossible. Satan doesn't have any emotion except anger." Artie jokes and Mercedes rolls her eyes.

"Shut up Artie. How would you know." Tina glared at him, shocking most of the glee guys, but not the girls who knew she was a lot sassier than she appeared.

Artie was about to respond before Kurt cut him off.

"Guys... look." Everyone turns their head to look at what Kurt is pointing at. They see Maribel enter with Santana close behind, head hung low.

Shocked at Santana's appearance, her red rimmed eyelids, baggy hoodie, makeup-less face and frizzy lose hair.

"Hey guys." Santana walks up to the group.

"What's wrong Sanny?" Brittany who was sitting next to Quinn asked.

"I have an announcement. I-I'm leaving for the rest of the school year and summer. I won't be back until a couple weeks after school starts next year."

"What why? Santana we still have to win Nationals!" Rachel folded her arms.

"I know, I know, but it's not by choice I have to leave. My mother is making me go to camp..."

"Camp, really Santana." Finn rolled his eyes and Puck hit him in the back of his head, telling Finn to shut up.

Only Kurt and Blaine were able to figure out the kind of camp she was talking about.

"Because of the commercial..." Kurt thought out loud staring at Santana.

"Yeah...the commercial, but hey I'll be fine. I'll be back okay. Ready for Glee and Cheer next year!" Santana said with fake enthusiasm.

"Santana I'm so sorry." Blaine got up and hugged her.

"Why isn't it just camp? With s'mores and pillow fights? Oh, and lots of new friends!" Brittany grinned.

Santana gave Brittany a sad smile, "Yeah, Britt just like that."

"Santana..." Quinn started as soon as it clicked for her.

"It's okay Quinn. It's okay." Santana sniffed as Quinn practically tackled her into a hug.

Everyone knew Santana and Quinn had a complicated relationship, but they never understood how deep it went. They argue, fight like cats and dogs one day. The next day they are cuddled up having sleepovers. No one could ever keep up. But it was okay because the two girls knew that end the end they'd always have each other's backs no matter the threat. When each other became the threat the didn't know how to really handle it, but somehow they did. So when they hugged everyone was a bit confused except them...and Brittany of course. Well, Britt was always confused just not about that.

"Santana, it's just camp stop being so melodramatic." Finn laughed and rolled his eyes. Again Puck hit him upside the head and told him to shut up.

"It isn't that kind of camp, Finn..." Kurt trailed off.

"What camp is it then?" Finn asked confusion or once again constipation written all over his face.

Just then Santana's mother cleared her throat letting her presence be once again know, "Santana its time to go. Say goodbye to your buddies and get you ass in the car." Maribel said annoyed at the Glee club's antics.

"Si, Mami. Un minuto más, por favor." Santana spoke to her mother in a bit of a hushed tone.

"Fine, I'll be in the car."

"Okay well this is the last you'll be seeing of me for quite a while. Say bye to Mr. Shue and Coach for me." Santana started to turn when a someone latched onto her back.

"Bye Sanny. Have fun at camp." Brittany cried a bit.

Santana turned and found a line of her Glee club family waiting to hug her. One by one she hugged everyone. Even those who had been silent through this whole ordeal.

"Bye guys." With that Santana left the cafe.

That was the last time the glee club heard of and from her for months. Everyone had complicated relationships with Santana, but they'd all miss her very much. Her snark and jokes were only a cover, but she was loyal and protective of each and everyone of them. They knew she cared. And they just hoped she knew they felt the same way.

"Guys, what camp?" Asked Finn who was still confused along with many other members of the group.

"Finn, her parents are sending her to a conversion camp." Kurt said with a sad look.

All the glee members looked between each other. Rachel started to cry along with Brittany and Quinn surprisingly. Puck comforted the Unholy Duo and soon everyone was crying a bit. They'd miss her. They were scared for her.

.

.

.

That was 4 months ago. Now she's back...


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Hey everyone, I'm taking a long break from fanfiction. Not too long just a few month, but I have pre-written some chapters and I have a friend who will post every week for me. The story has already been completed so don't worry. I hope you enjoy all these chapters and remember to review because I will still be getting those emails. cx I love you all. Shout out to my bestie Kara who will be posting for me. (on all stories that I have open and if a new story is posted then it is her's not mine) Thanks love. - Lex**

Her long, black hair was down in its loosely curled form. She wore a red dress with a white collar that stopped two fingers above her knee. She matched her dress with white flats. Makeup there, but just barley and her larger glasses sitting on the bridge of her nose. What shocked everyone the most was the simple cross necklace she was wearing.

Santana loaded her belongings into her locker into her locker as she turned to walk towards the front office. As the young Latina turned she ran dead into the one and only Kurt Hummel.

"Sorry..." Santana tried to move past Kurt and he in turn blocked her path by stepping in front of her.

"Santana? What the hell, are you okay? How was the camp? What did they do? Why are you dressed like that? And since when did you start dressing like that? When did you get back? Are you coming back to Glee?" Kurt asked, the questions flying to fast for the now overwhelmed Latina.

"Kurt...I'm not coming back to glee or the Cheerios. And I can't talk to you anymore. I'm sorry." Santana spoke quietly and quickly moved past Kurt, walking down the hall with her head down, before he could get another question out.

"Hey, was that Santana?" Mercedes asked as she and Rachel walked over to where Kurt was standing baffled.

"Uh...yeah, I think it was." Kurt said a tad bi lost in thought.

"What is he wearing? Not that I'm complaining it just doesn't seem very Santana like..." Rachel pointed out and the rest of the group nodded.

"I'm not sure, but she said she isn't coming back to Glee or the Cheerios. I think something is seriously wrong here." Kurt furrowed his brows.

"I mean we can't just judge her off her looks and off her club choice, right? Let's see how she acts today. Who has first with her?" Rachel asks.

"Mike and Tina do. Oh, and so does Brittany. Santana always helps her with her work." Mercedes announces.

* * *

Truthfully, first period for Santana was AP Lit. Santana was able to get Brittany in the same class, but only because she tutored Brittany in every subject so she could pass. Still Brittany was failing math. Which by Santana's opinion was not fair because she was getting the correct answers. Their teacher just refuses to accept her answers in crayon and Brit won't budge on that. So when Santana didn't sit by Brittany in class or even say hello to her, everyone knew something was very very wrong.

Kurt, Mercedes and Rachel had already talked to Chang Squared about watching out for odd behaviors from Santana. So when she saw that Santana didn't even look in the direction of Brittany and when they saw her sitting in the front of the class instead of her usual back seat, they texted the gossip triplets about their upsetting findings. Knowing those three, they had to confront her.

"Hello Santana. I didn't realize you were back." Rachel said appearing out of thin air as Santana exited her first period.

"Oh, hey. I just got back last night." Santana smiles kindly at Rachel, mildly scaring Rachel.

"Well, welcome back! Will I be seeing you in Glee Club this evening?" Rachel asks with a hesitant smile.

Santana's smile immediately drops from her face and she looks at her shoes,"No, Rachel, I won't be coming back to Glee this year."

"Why not?" Rachel tilts her head in a slight confused manner, looking at Santana with her big brown eyes.

_Cute._ Santana thinks once she lifts her head up.

"Look, Rach, I love Glee, but my family says they don't want me around anymore y'know...those people." Santana speaks a bit shyly.

"What people?" Rachel asks with the same look of confusion on her face.

"Gay people, Rachel...I can't be around gay people." Santana says and looks back down, then suddenly looks up with a gleeful expression, "But I can still be friends with you! Not Quinn though because my parents say she's a bad christian. Tina, Mike, Artie, Mercedes and Sam, too! My mom thinks Brittany is too dumb...which sucks, but I cannot oppose the orders of my elders."

"Oh, well I'll miss you in Glee. What about Cheerios, though?" Rachel asks while hiding the worry in her tone.

"I can't join that either. The skirts are too short and my mom says that it is important to stay covered when revirginizing." That shocked Rachel completely.

"You are revirginizing? Like surgery and all?" Rachel asks no longer able to hide the shock and worry on her face. Luckily, Santana does not seem to notice.

"Yep, surgery and all. I have to go before I'm late for second period. Want to have lunch with me?" Santana asks, hope in her tone.

"Y-yeah I'd love to." Rachel agrees, stuttering a bit.

"Okay, bye Rachel!" Santana gives Rachel a quick hug and smile then promptly skips, yes skips, down the hall.

* * *

"Is this really happening? Is Santana Fucking Lopez sitting with Rachel Sweater Berry?" Kurt asks Mercedes who is sitting at the table as well as Tina, Mike, Brittany and Quinn.

"Should we move over there?" Mercedes suggested.

"I think that is a horrible idea, but I'm down if y'all are." Quinn responds.

Everyone just shrugs and follows Kurt as he sits over there with Rachel.

"Hello ladies." Kurt says eyeing Santana.

"Hello Kurt, Mercedes, Tina, Mike, Quinn, Brittany." Rachel responds and Santana just lets out a quiet,"Hi," fiddling with her fingers under the table, head down.

"How was your day, Santana?" Kurt asks still staring the young Latina down.

"Fine." Santana says barley loud enough to be a whisper.

"Santana its okay, your parents can't see you talking to them. They won't know." Rachel says, putting a hand on Santana's ever moving hands.

Santana looks at Rachel and shakes her head, "No"

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't be talking to you Kurt." Santana whispers, finally meeting his prying eyes that have seemed to soften.

To Kurt, Santana looks like scared little girl. He's never seen her so vulnerable, so human. She's always been this heartless badass. He never expected this huge turnaround and honestly, he doesn't like it either.

"I-I have to go." Santana rushes to get up and leave the cafeteria leaving questioning looks from all the glee club except Rachel, so they all turn to Rachel for an explanation. Rachel then tells them all what Santana said in the hallway.

"Hell to the no! We have to fix this. I want the old Santana back!" Mercedes says drawing a few eyes from near by tables.

"Keep your voice down, but...I agree. First step...get Santana back in Glee." Kurt says and everyone at the table nods.


	4. Chapter 4

_Day one complete! This is going good right? Yeah, this is going great! A positive mind leads to a positive outcome. I've already started remaking friends. I made it clear that I would not be joining glee club or the cheerios. Now I just have to keep focused on staying away from those...people._

_I hope Kurt and Brittany aren't mad. I mean its not like I can ask them anyway, but at least they don't have to be near such a meanie anymore. I know they don't really like me like that anyway. Sister Justice told me so. And who am I to doubt my elders._

_Hm, it's 4pm. I don't have to be home for at least another hour. I will stop by the park and get some sketches done before I have to go home. Maybe Rachel will want to tag along. I should text her._

**Silly Santy:**

_Hey, Rach. I need to get some sketches done and I was wondering if you'd want to keep me company? (4:06 p.m.)_

* * *

**Radiant Rachy:**

_Hello, Santana, I'd love to accompany you as you sketch. I had no idea that you were into art. Where would you like to meet at? (4:08 p.m)_

* * *

**Silly Santy:**

_Yeah, I picked it up while I was away and it has become some form of a stress reliever, I guess. I want to meet by the entrance of Snowbell Park. You know by the Rec Center? (4:08 p.m.)_

* * *

**Radiant Rachy:**

_Fantastic, I'll be there is 10 minuets. (4:09 p.m.)_

* * *

When I got there I immediately sat on the nearby wall that overlooked the rest of the park. Taking out my sketchbook that I'd packed in my satchel, I began sketching the park.

I must've been deep into my sketch because when I looked up Rachel was sitting next to me looking at me.

"Hey, sorry. Guess I was a bit too focused." I blushed and looked down.

"It's fine. You're really good at that. Before you left, had you sketched at all?" Rachel asks a hesitantly.

"I did, but I thought I wasn't good enough. I still do sometimes...about a lot of things. But I'm learning to keep going even though people's opinions still matter and they still linger. And they still...hurt." I say, but now I'm think I said too much.

_We aren't even friends like that and here I go opening up to her like I didn't bully her for over a year. I'm such an idiot! I didn't even apologize._

"I get that. As much as we like to pretend that the things people say can't hurt us, they can and they do." Rachel says quietly.

"Rachel...I'm sorry. I know its late, but I really am. I should have never been such a b-... such a mean person to you. It was rude and I shouldn't have followed the crowd like that. You've never deserved that."

"It's okay."

"It isn't. I wasn't raised like that. You shouldn't forgive me just like that." I look down and turn to a clean sheet.

"I don't forgive you." Rachel says shrugging her shoulders.

Since when is Ber- never mind let's not go there.

"It's okay, but you don't forgive me? You're going to have to explain some."

"I mean that it will take me a while to forgive you, but I won't hold it against you. You have your moments when I can see right through your mask and I know you don't mean half the things you say. Plus I realize I'm a lot and not always the easiest person to deal with." Rachel shrugs.

I nod and stand up, motioning her to follow me. We walk around for a bit until we find a nice area by the lake to sit down. Even though I'm sitting on the dirt, I'm somehow comfortable.

I look to my left at Rachel who has her eyes closed and her face tilted up towards the warmth or the sun. Her arms are next to her body, holding her up and her legs are stretched out in front of her. Her hair is freely blowing in the light wind _a-and she looks just beautiful._ So like a true artist I began to sketch her. Not like a true artist I do it without her permission.

She'll be okay.

* * *

"Santana" Rachel calls without opening her eyes or changing her pose. I hum in response.

"What are you doing." Uneasiness shown in her tone.

"Sketching you." I respond casually.

Her body goes tense, "Oh. Why don't you draw the lake or something else?"

"I draw what is most captivating in the moment. You are captivating." I responds just as freely and I see her start to move.

"I'm not and I have no idea why you'd wan't to sketch me. If this is some sort of joke I don't find it funny, Santana, I-"

I put a hand on her arm and look her in her now open eyes, "Relax, you look beautiful."

And if only for a moment we just stare at each other. Blush rising on both of our faces.

"Will you go back to your pose for me please?" I ask quietly.

"Okay..." She responds leaning her arms back and closing her eyes.

And I go back to sketching.

* * *

"Okay all done!" I grin, "Ready?"

"Yes, I am." Rachel gets up and stretches.

"Are you sure you're ready?" I squint my eyes playfully.

"I'm positive, Santana." Rachel puts her hands on her hips equally as playful.

"As a proton?"

"As a proton." She rolls her eyes at my joke, "That's really corny, by the way."

"I try." I laugh and hand her my sketchbook from my seat on the ground.

I wait as she examines my sketch, watching her expression go from playful to thoughtful to-to something I cannot read.

"Santana...this is beautiful." Rachel says not looking up.

"Aw shucks, Rach." I chuckle.

"No, really, it's just amazing." Rachel finally looks up tears in her eyes.

"What's wrong?" I immediately stand and step towards her.

"Nothing its just t-that this girl is beautiful. I've never seen myself as beautiful before, but thi-this is me, right? Is this how you see me?" Rachel asks point to the sketch.

"Well, yeah. Rachel, I already told you that you are beautiful. And I mean this is the most friend-way ever, but you are pretty much drop dead gorgeous." I shrug.

Rachel decides at that moment to burst into tears and hug me. So I hug her back.

A few minuets pass and I hear my phone buzz.

_Shit, that's my mother. I'm late._


	5. Chapter 5

**Hello, I'm Kara. So Lex sent me like 12 chapters and this is listed as chapter 4, but it is very much so rated R. And of course Lex is an idiot and doesn't warn anyone. So I ended up taking out a few scenes, because honestly it was just too much. It still is, but it is her story. So here is your warning: rape and plain abuse in this chapter.**

* * *

Santana races to her car faster than Rachel can say goodbye. She decides she'll just text her later. Key turned in the ignition and foot on the gas pedal, Santana speeds off towards her home.

She cannot be late, but she is.

* * *

"Where were you?" Santana's father, asks when the young Latina walks into her home.

Her parents were sitting in the living room next to each other. They had the tv off and the lights dimmed as if it we some superhero movie and Santana just walked into the villain's lair. True enough, in Santana's mind, she was in the villain's lair.

"I-I was at the park sketching. I-I'm sorry I j-just lost tra-track of time..." Santana stumbled over her words quietly.

"Let me see." Sergio Lopez, the young Latina's father, stated.

"What?" Santana's voice hiked and her eyes when wide.

"You heard me. Do not make me say it again! Now, bitch!" Sergio stood up swiftly and turned with equal amount of speed.

"Y-yes, sir." The youngest Lopez quickly pulled her sketchbook out of her satchel and handed it to her father. After, she made a move to go upstairs, but was quickly stopped when her mother pulled her onto the couch next to her.

"Mm." Sergio let out a grunt as he flipped through the book, "What the fuck is this."

"I-I-It's just my friend Rachel s-she was at the park with me an-and she l-let me sketch her." She tried to explain, her eyes glue down towards her ever moving hands.

"Bullshit, Santana, we warned you when you came back that if you went back to your unholy ways there would be consequences. Maribel go get the paddle." Sergio said, glaring eyes never leaving Santana's scared ones.

Maribel got up with no objection and came back a moment later with a hard wooden paddle that was given to them by the sisters at the camp Santana had gone to.

"I'll be up in my study working." Maribel handed Sergio the paddle and without another glance towards her now helpless daughter she trudged up the stairs, slamming the study door once she reached her destination.

Sergio sat down in a nearby chair that had no arms and said, "Undress."

That had never happened before. Not to Santana. She experienced the paddle over break with the sisters and a few times since she had came home, but he'd never made her do that before.

"W-What?" Santana looked at her father with wide eyes.

"Get naked now." Sergio said with the same firmness that had been in his voice a moment ago.

"Papi, por favor no hagas esto. Lo siento. No me referia a eso. Lo estoy, por favor no lo hagas." Santana begs her father.

Sergio gets up out of his chair and smacks Santana in the face _hard_ with the wooden paddle. And Santana is left speechless on the floor. He then takes it upon himself to turn her so she is lying on her stomach and unzip her dress, pull it down and off, unclasp her bra, pull it off, and and push down her panties, pulling it off with her shoes. So Santana is left completely naked, between her fathers legs, faced down and with her father grinding on her just a bit.

A bit too much.

"I told you there'd be consequences, did I not?" Sergio yells, moving his body down to sit on her legs and he swings the paddle on her bare bum.

Santana shouts in pain as her tears begin to leak, soon she is full out sobbing.

"Answer me!" Sergio grabs her hair, forcing her back to lean and pushing one hand down on her back.

"Si, you told me!" Santana screams.

Sergio lets go and continues beating her with the paddle for about 15 more times. He then flips her around and brings his crotch area to sit on Santana's.

Santana immediately starts sobbing and shaking her head no. She knows what is about to happen. Well, she knows what she should expect.

Instead, her father leans all the way down, his weight crushing Santana, and just stares at his daughter.

He stands up, as does Santana only because her father tells her to, and pushes the young teen up against the walk of the living room. He sinks his hands down to Santana's area and sticks his whole fist inside of Santana. Causing an involuntary extremely loud scream of pain and pleasure from Santana.

"Say you want it. Say you like it. Say thank you, Papi." Sergio grins evilly as he pushed hard against his daughter's core.

"I-I wan-want it. I like i-it. Thank you, Papi." Santana struggles out through her pain, stating the lies her father forces her to say.

"That's right. Remember this is your fault. That Berry girl isn't gay. Stop trying to make her. And you aren't gay either. I don't want to see anymore of that shit, ever!" He slams her head against the wall.

He removes his hand out of Santana when he forces her to cum. Her body feeling pained and pleasured, but Santana feeling only pain and disturbance. He then unbuckles his belt and unzips his pants. She thinks he is going to stick it inside her, but he only rubs it against her abdomen and jerks off on her. Leaving dried semen as he zips up and walks out the living room with the paddle, as if nothing happened.

Santana sinks down to the floor as soon as he is gone. She brings her legs to her chest, even though it pains her to do so, and wraps her arms around them, tucking her head in. She sobs violently until she passes out due to exhaustion.


	6. Chapter 6

On Tuesday morning Santana walked in with a noticeable limp, not too noticeable, but the Glee Club noticed.

"Hello Santana." Rachel says as she walks up to Santana's locker.

"Hi, s-sorry I left so fas-fast yesterday." Santana stumbles over her words quietly.

"It's fine, San. Are you okay?" Rachel peeks her head past Santana's locker so she can see her.

"I-I'm fine." Santana responds equally as stumbled and equally as quiet, "I for-forgot to give y-you this yester-yesterday."

Santana hands Rachel her sketch from yesterday, not only because Rachel loved it so much, but also because she didn't want her father to be upset with her again.

"Thank you!" Rachel grins brightly as Santana closes her locker.

They move to start walking down the hall, but they're quickly stopped as the glee club assembles in front of them. This effectively blocks their path.

"Hello Rachel, hello Santana." Kurt smiles.

Thinking of yesterday, Santana decides not to take any chances so she just looks down and doesn't say anything.

"Hello Kurt, glee family." Rachel greets.

"Santana, how are feeling today?" Kurt asks and all eyes go towards Santana.

She doesn't respond.

"Right. Tina, if you would." Tina nods and takes a spot next to Kurt.

"Hi Santana." Tina smiles shyly.

"Hi…" Santana whispers still not looking up.

"How are you today?" Tina asks warmth in her voice.

"I-I'm fine. How are-are you?" Santana stutters her words, making light conversation, but still does not look up.

"I'm good," Tina nods as Kurt whispers something into her ear for her to say, "Santana…why were you limping to your locker this morning?"

This makes Santana look up, "I-I wasn't!" Santana immediately denies with wide eyes.

"Yes, you were. Santana if you are in some kind of trouble, you need to tell us." Kurt speaks up, "We just want to help you Santana. If some one is hurting you, please tell us."

Kurt sighs when Santana goes back to not speaking. He didn't want to do this. He motions behind him and someone steps to the front of the group.

"Sanny, what's wrong?" Brittany asks in a sad voice.

Santana looks up and tears quickly bounce to her eyes. So badly Santana just wanted to be held by Brittany and tell them all everything that's been happening. But she doesn't want to be hurt like yesterday.

"Why don't you talk to me anymore?" Brittany puts a pout on her face and intertwines their pinkies.

"Remember what we talked about, Britt? We're supposed to listen to our parents. And mine s-said that I can't be friends with you anymore." Santana's tears started to leak out of her eyes.

"What about Quinn or Kurt. You don't talk to them either."

"I can't, Britt. I'm sor-sorry, I'm sorry, I-I'm sorry." Santana sobs and runs out of the hallway deciding to skip first period.

* * *

Santana runs all the way to the auditorium. It's really more of Rachel or Kurt's M.O. to start singing when emotionally damaged, but she figures she'll try it out. So she sits at the piano, a skill most don't know she has, and begins playing the first notes of "Cry" by Kelly Clarkson.

_If anyone asks  
I'll tell them we both just moved on  
When people all stare  
I'll pretend that I don't hear them talk  
Whenever I see you I'll swallow my pride and bite my tongue  
Pretend I'm okay with it all  
Act like there's nothing wrong..._

Brittany and Quinn had always been there for her. Now they aren't. And she had finally thought she'd found her place in the world with glee. She was happy. And then her parents sent her away.

Santana was now freely sobbing and hitting the keys on the piano hard when the song called forth.

_Is it over yet  
Can I open my eyes  
Is this as hard as it gets  
Is this what it feels likes to really cry  
Cry  
_

Santana just wanted everything bad to stop coming. She just wanted to see the light in this tunnel. It wan't fair, but Santana thought she deserved it.

_If anyone asks  
I'll tell them we both just grew apart  
__What do I care if they believe me or not  
Whenever I feel your memory is breaking my heart  
I'll pretend I'm okay with it all  
Act like there's nothing wrong..._

All the relationships she ruined. All the betrayals. All the slushies. All the heartache. It was all her fault. She thought she deserved this...all of it.

_Is it over yet_  
_Can I open my eyes_  
_Is this as hard as it gets  
Is this what it feels like to really cry  
Cry_

_I'm talking in circles  
I'm lying, they know it  
Why won't this just all go away  
_

Santana just wanted everything to be over at this point. She didn't have anyone anymore. No one cared. Those who do will only get pushed away, because in Santana's mind she is poison.

_Is it over yet_  
_Can I open my eyes_  
_Is this as hard as it gets_  
_Is this what it feels like to really cry_

_Cry_

* * *

Unbeknownst to Santana, someone was watching that performance. And someone was also watching her sob on stage.


End file.
